[ FUNNILY ENOUGH, it's at this moment in time that his brain is like "wow. maybe i should tell him i've actually been a captain all this time but was too ashamed of being demoted." he's not going to, but the thought crossed his mind because sometimes your brain tries to desperately escape feeling feelings. and he's not good at them. more of the type to shove jackets at people and run away.
it was weird, mapping the whole thing out mentally. using thrawn as a stand-in for guidance and approval, feeling betrayed when told that everything he'd been doing was part of some big manipulative game. and then ... maybe it was, but maybe it wasn't.
that was what he took away from all this. the lesson. there wasn't just black and white. not empire vs. rebellion, maybe not even resistance vs. first order. for fuck's sake, his boyfriend used to be a stormtrooper. he didn't have to trust him when finn broke him out and asked to help him escape, but he did. finn couldn't be some anomaly, could he? there had to be more. others.
maybe, instead of being driven by good or evil or ... whatever, everyone was driven by base needs. even imperial officers like thrawn.
his own base need was to do the right thing. not what was right because it was Good, but what was right to himself. and maybe sometimes those things didn't align, but that was okay. they didn't have to. he'd done the right thing here. even if it probably wouldn't matter ultimately, it mattered to him. ]
Goodbye, Grand Admiral. May the Force be with you.
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it was weird, mapping the whole thing out mentally. using thrawn as a stand-in for guidance and approval, feeling betrayed when told that everything he'd been doing was part of some big manipulative game. and then ... maybe it was, but maybe it wasn't.
that was what he took away from all this. the lesson. there wasn't just black and white. not empire vs. rebellion, maybe not even resistance vs. first order. for fuck's sake, his boyfriend used to be a stormtrooper. he didn't have to trust him when finn broke him out and asked to help him escape, but he did. finn couldn't be some anomaly, could he? there had to be more. others.
maybe, instead of being driven by good or evil or ... whatever, everyone was driven by base needs. even imperial officers like thrawn.
his own base need was to do the right thing. not what was right because it was Good, but what was right to himself. and maybe sometimes those things didn't align, but that was okay. they didn't have to. he'd done the right thing here. even if it probably wouldn't matter ultimately, it mattered to him. ]
Goodbye, Grand Admiral. May the Force be with you.